Great Exercise Truths

I walk an hour every day and it really clears the mind.  Two ideas for which I have filed patents and several book titles have come to me when I was walking and all as I was crossing the intersection of Mount View and Scotts Valley Road!  There must be some special rock or meteor there, but I am still annoyed by exercise freaks and gurus. 

The following list of rejoinders was contributed by Brian Franklin, physicist, proving once again they can do more than math.  To wit:

It is well documented that for every minute that you exercise, you add one minute to your life. This enables you at age 85 year to spend an additional five months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She was 97 years old when she vanished and we don't know where the Hell she went.

One reason I took up exercising is so that I could experience heavy breathing again.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound.  Apparently you have to show up, or something.

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier and look better in a coffin.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

If you want to meet a lot of people, walk the same route every day about the same time.  They will get to think they know you and be very friendly when you do meet.

You will also make friends with crows and hawks, but never quail or deer.  Crows and hawks will get so familiar you will be able to walk withing a few feet of them and they won't fly away.  And, their young will act the same way which may mean they talk to one another.

Adrian