A Message From Her Majesty

Her Majesty Hillary Rodham Clinton I

As you know, my dear people, the last year for me has been anannus horribilus. The Royal House of Clinton has been tormented by questions about our handling of finances and subjected to tiresome questions about the tragic events in Benghazi in the furthest regions of our empire. And, sadly, also questions about my Royal e-mails. Nevertheless, I will not be daunted in my desire and commitment to serve you the people.  I am only here to help you.

For the next seventeen months I will be traveling among you as one of you, to listen to your deepest longings and needs. I will be with you in your Wal-Mart and beside you in your Burger Kings, Chiplotes and MacDonalds.  I will drive with you down the busy interstate highways of our land sharing your poverty and needs, with you and feeling your pain.

How well I remember the days when the Duke of Arkansas and I were impoverished. After we were expelled from our Washington Palace we hardly had two mansions to rub together. We were so poor we had to remove $200,000 of china, flatware, carpets and gifts from the Washington Palace just to survive.  Now, happily, benefactors from around our empire have given just enough for us to scrape by.

During those difficult times we had to cut back when our daughter was married. We only had three million dollars to spend on her wedding and well I remember our hopes as she moved into her $10 million Manhattan apartment that one day she would be able to leave that humble abode to something more fitting.

So as I travel across our land to meet you all, I will be listening and sharing with you. Then when the time for the royal election comes I know you will crown me as your rightful monarch so that we can all live happily ever after.

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We thank Carol Cox for this contribution, an anonymous author and PhotoShopper for capturing precisely the persona of Mrs. Clinton.  We note she is one of the finest examples of the "grand mal" phase of the disease of "Liberalism horribolis" a terminal affliction rampant in backwaters like Harvard, Yale, Stanford and Berkeley Universities as well much of the "Ivy League" where high borns seek the skills of deceit, trickery and dominion over their fellow men for the purpose of perpetuating their wealth and further inflating their egos.  AV