WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In
a bold gambit to end the government shutdown, the House Speaker, Nancy
Pelosi, said on Saturday that she would bypass Donald J. Trump and
negotiate directly with the Russian President, Vladimir Putin.
“I owe it to the American people to bring this shutdown to the swiftest possible conclusion, and so I’m avoiding the middleman,” she said.
Pelosi, who is scheduled to board a plane to Moscow Saturday night, said that she had not informed Trump of her plans to deal directly with Putin. “Whatever,” she said.
In an official statement, Putin said that he welcomed Pelosi’s overture and shared her desire to end the shutdown. “At some point, I’d like to visit Yellowstone,” he said.
We can be sure Nancy will return saying Putin confessed to her that he elected Mr. Trump in spite of the fact that his plan to cripple American by buying all our uranium reserve as we have only 1% and they have 8%, which he got for a $145 million donation to the Clinton Foundation plus a $500,000 fee for a speech by gravel voiced Bill Clinton. Given Mr. Trump's actions regarding Russia's transgressions Nancy will once again prove she is a "ding-a-ling."
Adrian Vance
“I owe it to the American people to bring this shutdown to the swiftest possible conclusion, and so I’m avoiding the middleman,” she said.
Pelosi, who is scheduled to board a plane to Moscow Saturday night, said that she had not informed Trump of her plans to deal directly with Putin. “Whatever,” she said.
In an official statement, Putin said that he welcomed Pelosi’s overture and shared her desire to end the shutdown. “At some point, I’d like to visit Yellowstone,” he said.
We can be sure Nancy will return saying Putin confessed to her that he elected Mr. Trump in spite of the fact that his plan to cripple American by buying all our uranium reserve as we have only 1% and they have 8%, which he got for a $145 million donation to the Clinton Foundation plus a $500,000 fee for a speech by gravel voiced Bill Clinton. Given Mr. Trump's actions regarding Russia's transgressions Nancy will once again prove she is a "ding-a-ling."
Adrian Vance
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