A Gun Story

An American Gothic

"Today I swung my front door wide open and placed my Remington 30.06 right in the doorway. I left 6 cartridges beside it, then left it alone and went about my business.

While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor boy across the street mowed the yard, a girl walked her dog down the street, and quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign near the front of my house.

After about an hour, I checked on the gun.  It was still sitting there, right where I had left it.  It hadn't moved at all! It hadn't killed anyone, even though it had several good opportunities.

It hadn't even loaded itself.  Can imagine my surprise, with everything said by Democrats and major media about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people. Either the media is wrong or I have the laziest gun in the world.

The United States is third in murders throughout the world.  But, if you take out four cities, Chicago, Detroit, Washington, DC, and New Orleans, the United States is fourth from the bottom in terms of murders.

Those four cities have the toughest gun control laws in the United States. Would it be absurd to draw conclusions from this data?

Well, I'm off to check on my spoons.  I hear they're making people fat."

Contributed by John Keady, Edited by Adrian Vance

Note:  We used the famous "American Gothic" painting by Grant Wood for the storyteller as the image was meant to be that of a classic middle-western American farmer, "the salt of the earth," replete with earthy, Christian values.  

The painting was controversial from first exposure, which was far-and-wide for the time.  The lady was first said to be the man's wife, but the model for her claimed it was meant to be his unmarried maiden daughter, hence the dour expression.  Click on the hyperlinked caption under the image for a full history.

The woman bears such a striking resemblance to comedian Amy Schumer and we are surprised Amy has not done a takeoff in her Comedy Channel TV show as she reaches far and wide for her excellent, over-produced and hilarious gags.  AV